Why effort fails when the message is wrong

When we adopted our son from China, he was almost nineteen months old. He spoke Chinese, not English, and he had an open cleft lip and palate, which made communication even harder.

He became an incredible actor. If he needed something, he acted it out. His big sister, who was four at the time, always understood him.

I did not.

One afternoon, a few weeks after we came home, he kept saying something that sounded like “hala.” He had started learning a little English, so I assumed he was practicing “hello.”

So I smiled.
And I said “hello” back.
Sometimes I even waved.

This went on for hours.

Finally, he walked to the refrigerator, grabbed the handles, slid down onto the floor, and sobbed “hala.”

That was when it hit me.

He was not saying hello.
He was saying the Chinese word that sounds like “e le,” which means “I’m hungry.”

For hours, my child had been asking for food.
And I had been responding to the wrong thing.

I felt awful. And I have thought about that moment many times since, especially when I look at how people approach business.

So many smart, capable people are doing things. They are posting. Learning. Trying. Tweaking. Showing up.

But they are responding to the wrong signal.

They think their issue is visibility.
Or consistency.
Or confidence.
Or content.

When the real issue is that what they are offering is not being understood the way they think it is.

Their audience is saying “I’m hungry.”
Their business is answering “hello.”

When you do not have a clean line between what you offer, who it is for, and how someone is meant to move toward a decision, effort turns into frustration. You work hard and still feel unseen. You explain and still feel misunderstood.

Not because you are incapable.
But because the message is misfiring.

That is exactly why I created the Sales Clarity Challenge.

This challenge is not about doing more. It is about making sure what you are doing actually connects, translates, and leads somewhere.

If you are tired of trying and still feeling like nothing is landing the way it should, you can join us here: